A gritty brown dog jumps over a grumpy white fox
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“The Gabba fort has been breached. Fortunately, no Kangaroos were hurt in the process. Cricket Australia is busy scrambling the battered spirts of its players. The men in blue will savour GOAT curry tonight. In the end, Test cricket came out victorious.”
Pardon my chosen title if it has offended you. This is an indictment of the racist slur allegedly served to an Indian cricketer at the SCG. Amazing that in this day and age when technology has transcended physical barriers and transgressed our bedrooms and toilets, and the dozen T-20 leagues around the world have collectively handed a slow death sentence to jingoistic passions on the field, one bloke thought he would get away after making a racist remark at a live cricket match. In a full capacity crowd his voice would have got diluted with other slurs of his brotherhood and sounded more like a sizzling bacon on an Australian summer barbeque oven. Covid-19 ensured the slur was served to the cricketer straight from the oven, hot and fresh. The Indian bowler had no appetite left for it after having grilled the Australian batsmen.
It is puzzling that dog was considered as a subject of racial objectification here. Considering Australians love their dogs and are very welcoming of the canine kind. More than the immigrants, multiculturalism has flourished for the canines. Australians just love their dogs: brown, black, white, grey, German, Russian, or American. It is common to see a brown man with a white dog and a white man with a brown dog. Australian also love their pigs, cows, sheep, but mostly on their plates. May be the reference to dog was more a gesture of welcome to our land. Thank God it was a dog and not a cow or a pig. Any reference to them would have hurt the Indian sensibilities. At least better judgement prevailed.
To add to that unfortunate incident of racism, Australian captain lost his cool and resorted to an unsavoury sledging with the Indian batsman that was reminiscent of the Baggy Greens in the late 90s and early 2000s. In the end the Indian Batsman’s resilience proved too much for the captain. This was perhaps another of those brain fade moments. Cricket Australia should claim patent rights on that word as their cricketers seem to have too many of them on the field. — Good to see the captain apologising for his behaviour —
For someone who has followed every India Australia test cricket in the past two and half decades with relentless passion, this should come as no surprise. Every person of my generation will most likely share the same feeling of dislike for Australian brand of cricket. They ruled cricket and were the indisputable maharajas of cricket. Steve Waugh and Ricky Ponting were the lucky captains who had teams filled with champions. With the Indian, one could argue the batting and bowling relied on few players, but each of the eleven players in the Australian team was a star. And yet, the Australian cricketers hardly earned a fan base outside of their country. If you thought cricket could just be played with bat and ball, you were definitely not from Australia. One also needed “sledging” (one could argue why would they need it when they could just win with bat and ball). Very recently they added “sandpaper” to that list and that episode was perhaps the churning moment that Cricket God wanted for its most successful team. Tim Paine definitely did a wonderful job in rebuilding the faith of the cricket lovers in the Australian team and changing the way cricket will be played by the baggy greens. I am sure he will be fuming with himself after his behaviour at SCG. Old habits die hard they say.
As much I am delighted by the outcome of the match today, I pity the baggy greens. There was a time when they would prepare bouncy pitches to torture and torment visiting teams. Now they themselves fear rolling their pitches too much in fear of facing the likes of Bumrah. What a turnaround of events. They are also slowly losing the home crowd advantage. Indians are migrating to Australia in great numbers. They are giving up their Indian passports, but not their cricket teams. Why would they? The making of Test Cricket fan takes years just as it takes blood, sweat, hamstrings, broken fingers, to make a Test Cricketer. If the Barmy Army was not enough, now they have to tolerate the Swamy Army, Bharat army. In years to come one might have “Chikmaglur army” flag at the SCG. I am not sure how CA will solve this problem or would want to solve this problem. After all, more Indians in the stadium means more money. If they still want to tackle this, maybe, consult Pauline Hanson. Enough of the talk on CA. They have too many things to worry about. Starting with relieving the captain of his “pain” and Wade from the squad. Most importantly, they should stop calling Garry the “goat”. Indians love their goat curry. Try calling him a cow and you never know they may end up revering him.
I should stop talking about greens. This write-up is about the men and boys who were bowled out for their lowest ever total in the first test match. A score even Timbuktu Cricket Club will not be proud of. Though, it may have given a good night worth of sleep to India’s friendly neighbours. Many gave up on this team and predicted a 4–0 washout, but not me. I never gave up on the team (cricket kept me busy — 18 days). Therefore, a big credit for this series must be given to me. Anyone who has followed test cricket or doubts the longevity of test cricket in the times when cheerleaders are becoming as important as the players, should have their answers now. Test cricket is not dying. Definitely not dying as long as I am alive.
What wonderful feelings it were when the men in blue proved the channel 7 commentators wrong time and again. Even though the two teams displayed great spirits on the field, one commentator nick named Punter, was not happy. He was not happy that Travis Head was friendly with Bumrah. He was not happy when Australia lost the 2nd, drew the 3rd, and lost the 4th. His frustration of watching Australia lose matches was apparent. Exploding in false optimism every now and then. Take this for example, with 3 runs to victory and three wickets in hands in the last match he comments:
“Australians are just one wicket away. The rest three do not know how to put bat on the ball”. I am sure he was itching to tell CA, “send me to the field, I will sledge my way out from here.”
What a waste your life has been Ricky. You could never get my respect. In an act that sounded more like a guest trying to please his host, Sunil Gavaskar had this to say when Shardul Thakur got into batting and Indians were in deep trouble, “Only if he could bat 10% of what Ricky Ponting did”. I could not hear what Mr. Punter said, but I am sure he must have grinned. Shardul Thakur went on to score a match defining 67 which is 30% more than Ricky Ponting career average. I was the happiest person in the world.
Ashwin made more impact on the opponent than his opposite number. Indian batsmen relished the goat. They made vindaloo in the first match, curry in the second, biriyani in the third, and kebabs in the last match. They cooked it over Hazle’wood’ fire, adding little bit of ‘Cummin’s seed, and ‘Starc’h for energy. For fibre they were served with “Green” salad.
I am totally lost of words and direction here. Hard to describe what the team achieved, but definitely a lot to learn from. So much happens to players before they make it to the playing 11 of a country. To make it to the tour means each of the players, irrespective of the formats they were initially picked for, know how to play cricket. What matters most is actually the attitude and fortitude. It was this attitude, that Washingon who would not have himself dreamt of playing a test match, that too against Australia and in Australia, displayed “sundar” cricket, facing the top three bowlers in test cricket.
I have never read Shakespeare since I left school, but I am sure if a wise man or woman were to compose what just transpired, it will be more beautiful than Shakespeare’s writing or Eliot’s poem. What a beautiful poem it is. To be relished by test cricket lovers for generations to come.
What does it take to make a good test series?
# Broken hands/fingers. Hamstrings. Broken helmets. Back pain. Body blows.
# The Australian captain asking his frontline fast bowler and the best in the world, to bowl 8 overs at a stretch because the series is on the line.
# A batsman who plays only one form of cricket and is willing to put his body in line.
# Two players facing a barrage of lethal bowling: one playing with one leg, another playing with back pain, saving a match together
# Debutants who would have never made it to the playing eleven if not for covid-19, making tremendous impact in their first game
# An auto-rickshaw driver’s son, taking a 5 wicket haul and fulfilling his late father’s dream.
# A batsman who has hardly played much first class cricket, hitting a big six to long on and keeping his head down. As if, teasing a bowler who wanted to get to his 400 test wickets.
# A diminutive soft-spoken captain who takes over from a garrulous celebrated cricketer who plays differently and leads differently. To come from 36 all out and score a match winning century in the next match, mind-boggling. Which begs the question, do we really need Virat’s antics on the field as a captain? If yes, should we be then get agitated by Paine’s disposition at the SCG?
Let the lone episode of racism not tarnish what both the teams have provided us: Beautiful cricket played mostly in the right spirit of the game. Let the Punter fume in frustration. He will still get his IPL coaching fees next year. Lastly, CA can contact Amazon Prime to make another series on them. They can name that “The retest”.
Long live the Test Cricket.
Oh what a series!
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PS: Cameron Green and Pat Cummins, you guys have found a new fan this series. The most important one. Feel proud of this.
